brussel sprout chips

Mini Cabbages From Heaven

Welcome to my food blog,

After many years of experience, I have decided to share with you my culinary expertise on concocting exquisite brussel sprouts. This recipe has been handed down many generations, from the Shang Dynasty up until Thanksgiving 2016. Below are the secrets to superb crispy flakes of greens.


Step one...

Separate the gorgeous leaves from each other and toss them around, rubbing your fingers all over then. 

Then wash your hands.

 Make sure you're in a private space with prime lighting to really see the leaves fall on one another. This will secure their juices. 


 Find your favorite leaf. Cradle it, kiss it, smell it, and throw it around and watch it fly. 

Then bring your favorite leaf out to play with your grandmother and sister. This will make the leaf feel at home and not just like any other sprout. 

Then throw it back in the bowl and forget about it. This will make the leaf insecure.

After you got rid of that leaf, don't text it for 3 days. This is called ghosting your sprouts. It's an essential step in any baker/brussel sprout relationship.

Throw those leafy greens in the oven at 400 degrees F and watch them simmer and shrivel.


After 10 minutes, return to your pan of greens and play around with them. Let your cold tongs trace the ridges of your brussel sprouts. Make sure you can hear the oil cracking and begging for more love.

Close the oven.

Step Four...

Take those little suckers out of there, put them on your grandmother's china, and have your mother douse them in ball sack... I mean balsamic. Watch intently as the brown bitter liquid drips elegantly onto your baby leaves.

And last but not least...

Grab a pair of handy chopsticks. 

Contrary to popular belief, this makes eating brussel sprouts a lot easier to eat!


With love,